Hello I'm Lanaia and I'm a Canadian Princess who saves all the princes in distress(◡‿◡✿) I like pretty dresses, hair accessories, cute boys, cute girls,mermaids, nosebleeds, and being choked

[this heart's a mess]

so this started out as a really dumb derpy sketch and it still kind of is but at the same time it turned out as a lot more than that. this is a character of mine, Cecilia and she’s not really FROM anything in particular this incarnation of her however is ex-tumblr rpverse and in the rp she spent a lot of time dwelling on past events and basically feeling sorry for herself and not allowing herself to grow as a person because she could only define herself by what she had been through and she had no sense of self any more. 

Throughout the roleplay she sought to find herself in other people, trying to define herself by being in a relationship of some sort rather than being her own person, which as you can probably assume didn’t work out very well, it sedated her temporarily but in the end she was still unable to give herself any personal definition. I feel that these aspects didn’t shine through in the roleplay at that might be my fault for lack of external interpretation and simply leaving most character development in my head. whups. 

Near the end of the rp(aka when i resigned from the rp) her story was resolved(antagonist was killed) and through weird wizard rules she inherited his powers and was even more lost in her search for any sort of self. By inheriting powers, she also inherited a mentor who is another character of mine and a sassy wizard named Merc and he was rather short with her a lot of the time but it’s tough love. Again, inheriting powers made her whine and grumble because just as she was learning to adapt to one thing, something else comes along and she has to adjust yet again, Merc isn’t sympathetic and basically has a “suck it up princess” attitude towards her which kind of smartens her up and at the same time he implies that everything is “too tough” for her, he grows close to her rather quickly and definitely learns how to, I guess the best word would be “manipulate”(though the term is used loosely) her. Issues of abandonment surface when he leaves for an extended period of time and she is convinced it’s because she didn’t try hard enough, he returns and she steps in line and commits to learning without complaint.

There is more but this is already very long

so anyway BASICALLY what eventually happens is after years and years, she finishes her wizard training and they part ways for a while, by this point she’s found herself in a more definitive sense, the quote on the picture is her realization that she can no longer be defined by her past and she has to define herself by the long future ahead. She even learns to have a spot of a sense of humour about what happened(thus if you know her story in fuller depth the shirt will shine clear ba dum tss.) She learns that she doesn’t need another person to fill any void and for quite a few years she is able to be perfectly content on her own, keeping in touch with old friends who share extended life and living up to expectations she never believed she could fulfill.

tl;dr i really love this character and even after i quit the rp i planned out entire things for her siiighhh UuU also i cheat drawing curly hair by just making it poofy